Lakewood Croquet Club

TACOMA, WA – A major change at this year’s edition of the Champions Cup was the institution of a Special Referee by President Brian S. Johnston III. Following a lengthy selection process, Johnston decided upon Kevin Sutton as the appropriate individual, given Sutton longstanding reputation for sportsmanship in LCC competition.

Sutton was present at the Cup as both a competitor and a referee, but his Special Referee status seemed to have little impact on the outcome of the match. He made no specific rulings, caught no competitors cheating, and generally played a very low-key role in the event.

“I didn’t want to get involved where I wasn’t needed,” he said. “For the most part the event went off without a hitch, so why should I rock the boat? Besides, I’ve yet to hear any criticism from any of the competitors about the officiating.”

Despite Sutton’s claims, such questions have been raised. Of primary concern for many of the participants was Sutton’s apparent flaunting of large wads of cash throughout the event.

“He kept asking me if I wanted to see his money,” said Mark Stibbe. “He was always pulling out this fat money roll from his referee jersey. I didn’t know what was up.”

Further fuel has been added to the fire following the surfacing of an incriminating photo from the Cup. It shows Sutton, in his Special Referee attire, soliciting cash from Jeff Gepner, the man who ultimately won the Champions Cup.

“Now why would I take a bribe from Jeff?” questioned Sutton. “He was my only real competitor out there. The only reason he beat me was because of Brian Johnston barreling his way into the last wickets and knocking me into the middle of next week. Brian’s the reason Jeff won, not me.”

On that note, Sutton ended his meeting his reporters, checked his watch, and headed out of the building. He answered only one final question: Where was he headed?

“To the bank,” he stated. “I’ve got a deposit that I need to make…”