Lakewood Croquet Club

LAKEWOOD, WA – Following last week’s speculation concerning the retirement of Andrew Cooper, an anonymous Lakewood Croquet Club competitor submitted a startling letter of concern, or more appropriately disconcern, over the current state of Club affairs.

Last week Cooper, a true LCC legend, spoke vaguely with reporters concerning what may have been plans for his retirement. The announcement sent shockwaves throughout LCC ranks, as officials, competitors, and fans alike speculated on Cooper’s future.

One Club competitor stepped forward, issuing a statement to LCC officials concerning Cooper’s possible retirement. Unlike the comments of others, this anonymous individual’s remarks were quite negative.

The memo follows in its entirety.

To: All Lakewood Croquet Club members
From: [Unknown]
Re: The retirement of Andrew Cooper

Good day fellow competitors! I am writing this memorandum in response to the recent news concerning Mr. Andrew Cooper:

Good riddance to Mr. Cooper! Just try to name one contribution that he has made to this sport. Oh wait… other than aiding that jackass Mr. Gepner win the Champions Cup. All he did was whine about how he could not be President. In response, he was given a newly created position of Executive Vice President… and what did he do?

Not a damn thing!

Two years ago he didn’t even bother to compete for the grand Cup… he had more important things to do. Let us not pretend that this is some great loss. If he wants to quit, so be it. The sport will be better off without him in it!

Sincerely,

A Concerned LCC Member

PS: Have a nice day!