Lakewood Croquet Club

LAKEWOOD, WA – After a dismal end to yet another dismal season, Lakewood Croquet Club mainstay Tom Carmony declared his career “on the skids” and stated that it was time for a change. The former “Haberdasher” is making waves in his official return to LCC action by calling for an end to “extreme croquet” and a return to an “Old School” style of play.

“For the past seven months, I’ve found myself on a soul searching journey,” stated Carmony in a recent exclusive interview with LakewoodCroquet.com. “Year after year, I’ve struggled to find success here in the LCC and to win my first Champions Cup. I’ve tried changes in my training regimen, changes in my personality, I even spent the better half of two years waiting for success to come to me because of my lucky hat.”

“Finally, I realized it,” he said. “There’s nothing wrong with me. There’s everything wrong with this game.”

“I’ve let myself become too wrapped up in the modern style of play. This season, I’ve made a pledge to myself… I’m going ‘Old School.’ I’ve constantly tried to adapt my style of play to that of the rest of the LCC competitors, but from here on out I’m blazing my own trail.”

Carmony stated that he has been working on honing his new style of play, one that will be a mix of traditional and extreme croquet shots and strategy.

Reaction amongst other LCC competitors to Carmony’s latest announcement was mixed.

“This wasn’t something I would have expected from Carmony,” said LCC President Brian S. Johnston III. “I have to say, he may be on to something here. I don’t know if his new style will work in extreme croquet, but I’m interested to find out.”

“Carmony is an idiot!” was the response from Jeff Gepner, a two-time Champions Cup winner. “Every year he comes up with something new that supposed to carry him to the Cup. He’s a chump and nothing’s going to change that.”