Lakewood Croquet Club

SEATTLE, WA - Lakewood Croquet Club President Kevin Sutton made his first major appearance since taking office last week, delivering his State of the Club address before top LCC brass at the organization’s headquarters. Sutton was direct in addressing a number of recent issues, including the resignation of former President Brian S. Johnston III, “Queen of Croquet” Lin Cherry’s recent free agent signing with the San Francisco Extreme Croquet Club (SFECC), as well as the SFECC’s decision to hold hostage the Champions Cup trophy.

“We don’t need a trophy to crown our champion,” Sutton declared. “The Lakewood Croquet Club is about competition, on the field, not second-rate publicity stunts. Okay, we may have pulled a few less-than-classy publicity stunts,” he acknowledged, “but we never stole anything.”

Sutton opened the twenty-seven minute speech by touching on his quick rise to office following Johnston’s June 27th departure. “President Johnston served this club for six years,” he stated. “He may not have always had the LCC’s best intentios in mind, he may have screwed a few people, he may have awarded himself a number of championships and other accolades, but you know, we all have our faults. This is not the time to look to the past, but instead to look to the future and I see a bright future for a new, revitalized Lakewood Croquet Club.”

The President was also direct and to the point in addressing the escalating rivalry with the SFECC.

“I’m disappointed that our fellow croqueters in San Francisco feel they have to resort to stealing our members and stealing our Champions Cup trophy in order to compete with the LCC,” Sutton charged, bringing the crowd to its feet. “If they need to pillage our ranks to bolster their own operation, we will not sit idly by and fall victim to such terrorizing. Our response will be three simple words, “BRING IT ON.”

Sutton concluded the rousing call to arms with a simple message. “If we are indeed on the brink of a Croquet Cold War, then remember this…. you’re either WITH US or AGAINST US.”