VITAL STATISTICS
Date: Saturday, October 2nd, 2004
Location: Golden Gate Park, San Francisco
Winner: Brian S. Johnston III
Duration of Event (Qualfiying and Finals): 4 hours, 10 minutes
Number of Frequent Flyer Miles Earned by LCC Competitors (combined): 4,500
Ratio of Number of Beers Onhand to Competitors: Nearly 5 to 1
The 2004 Champions Cup, held for the second straight year at San Francisco’s Golden Gate Park, was clearly destined to be a watershed moment in Lakewood Croquet Club (LCC) history. The year prior marked the first time the Cup had ever been claimed by a non-LCC competitor, as the San Francisco Extreme Croquet Club’s Steak Boy walked off with the four feet of plastic, much to the chagrin of the Cup faithful. With their trademark trophy in the clutches of the SFECC for the past thirteen months, the LCC would either step up to the plate, reclaiming their crown, or fade off into obscurity.
Unlike the 2003 Cup, a much more formidable contingent of Lakewood Croquet Club competitors made the journey to the Bay Area in search of the gold (-colored plastic). 2003 competitors Tom Carmony and Kevin Sutton were joined by “The Franchise” Jeff Gepner, a three-time Champions Cup winner (1998, 1999, 2001) and Brian S. Johnston III, the former LCC President who was making his return to the world stage at the Cup after a summer-long sabbatical from competition.
Despite the additional LCC contingent taking part, Northwesterners were still outnumbered nearly 3-1 by SFECC participants. Play began with two qualifying heats, played simultaneously from opposite ends of the same course (competitors were allowed to croquet balls not only from their own heat but from the other qualifier as well). Prior to the start of competition, LCC President Kevin Sutton announced a new ruling allowing former Champions Cup winners to automatically qualify for the championship final, meaning that Sutton, Gepner and Steak Boy were already in, leaving them out of the qualifying round. The remaining 15 competitors would thus slog it out for six positions in the final (the top three finishers from each qualifying heat earned a spot in the final).
Much of the play during qualifying was give and go, as competitors struggled through the course. Each heat featured at least six SFECC participants and only a single LCC player. Johnston was strong throughout his heat, taking a solid first-place finish after battling for position with “Agent Orange” Dave Prugh and others. Tom Carmony, the self-proclaimed “King of Qualifying”, turned in the worst qualifying round of his career, falling off a pace set by SFECC czar “Blackrocket” Jon Prugh and “The Punisher” John Shields. Carmony faltered midway through the round and ended up conceding in disgust after having twice hurled his mallet in frustration (LCC Officials believe these to be the earliest mallet tosses in Cup history — Carmony usually saves his frustration for the championship final).
The true highlight of the afternoon was (as it should be) the championship final. A nine-player field (three LCC and six SFECC competitors) took part in what proved to be one of the most thrilling finishes in Cup history. Dr. Shields, winner of his qualifier, started off strong, leapfrogging both Gepner and Johnston, who struggled in the early going). The tide slowing began to shift during the first half of the course, as a number of SFECC players, including defending Cup winner “Steak Boy” Dave Bois found themselves in an uphill battle out of the gate.
All great LCC courses feature that one wicket that proves to be the great equalizer, so difficult that the player(s) that successfully overcome it usually go on to victory; the 2004 Champions Cup was no exception, integrating the SFECC’s own feared Trail of Tears, a 30 foot downhill drop that leaves players struggling to find their way back to the course, let alone back into contention. The Trail of Tears claimed a number of victims, including Sutton and Agent Orange, who never fully recovered from their ordeals at the wicket. Gepner, Johnston and Blackrocket cleared the Trail of Tears (some more quickly than others) and were clearly the players to beat heading for the finish.
Much to the credit of the SFECC, they quickly took up the LCC’s concept of kamikaze play, as players quickly dropped off from contention, instead taking up position to run interference and try to prevent Gepner or Johnston from winning the match. Sutton bowed out from the LCC side, setting the stage for a kamikaze-filled, team oriented finish. Johnston, Gepner and Prugh continued their back and forth battle through the interference, nearing the final wickets.
What happened next was truly the stuff of LCC legend. Gepner, a long-time sworn enemy of Johnston (who misused his power through much of his five-year Club Presidency to make life miserable for Gepner), croqueted both his own ball and the Jon Prugh’s ball more than 25 yards out of play, buying Johnston time to navigate the swarm of kamikaze players between him and the finish. Aided by Sutton’s positioning, Johnston cleared the last wickets and staked out with a strong final shot, capturing the 2004 Champions Cup and returning it to its rightful place, in the hands of the Lakewood Croquet Club.
OTHER NOTABLES
Rumors circulated after the event that the Cup may be called into question due to a Title IX violation, as the championship final was noticeably absent any female competitors. No formal complaint has been filed with the LCC Board of Directors… 2003 Cup winner Steak Boy left an indelible mark on the trophy, adding his name atop a piece of shellacked meat to the base of the four-foot Cup… Plans are already underway for the 2005 Champions Cup, which will mark the event’s tenth anniversary… There were already rumblings among SFECC circles post-match of journeying to Seattle next year to regain the Cup for their club.
