VITAL STATISTICS
Date: Saturday, August 30th, 2003
Location: Golden Gate Park, San Francisco
Winner: “Steak Boy” David Bois
Number of Flying Dog T-Shirts Kevin Sutton Donned in an Attempt to Keep Warm: 5
Number of Flying Dog Beers Consumed: 2 cases
Even before the competition got underway, it was clear that the eight annual edition of the Lakewood Croquet Club’s Champions Cup would be a special event. The 2003 Cup marked the first time an LCC championship was sponsored, as Denver’s Flying Dog Ales presented the event. In addition, this year’s contest marked the fifth time in the past six years that members of an outside croquet club (in this case, the San Francisco Extreme Croquet Club) attempted to wrest the gold from the LCC’s trophy case. Finally, the 2003 event was only the second Cup held outside the LCC’s home state of Washington (the 2000 Champions Cup was the first, held in the Philadelphia area).
Unfortunately, the event would also make history as the first time the LCC lost control of the Cup. With only three official LCC members (4-time Doubles Champion Tom Carmony, former Pennsylvania Open winner “Queen of Croquet” Lin Cherry, and three-time Champions Cup winner Kevin Sutton) valiantly defending the Cup against more than 15 SFECC members, the odds were against the hosts from the beginning.
Things started out positively for the LCC, as Tom Carmony, the King of the Champions Cup Choke, bounded out to an early lead that he would ride through the qualifying round. Qualifying proved particularly risky for the LCC, as all three members ended up in the same heat, with only five competitors advancing from each of the two heats. Fortunately, Carmony, Cherry, and Sutton were able to put their differences aside and at least avoid eliminating one another. Cherry struggled mid-match and ultimately bailed out of the proceedings, spending the remainder of the afternoon court-side in a sleeping bag drinking beer.
SFECC competitors proved to be clearly up to the task of challenging for the Cup. Though they remained in the hunt throughout the qualifying round, slowly taking in the competition and learning the LCC’s style of play and rules variations, they cranked it up a notch in the Championship final. Steak Boy and the Punisher moved into the lead early, though three-time Cup winner Kevin Sutton battled them neck and neck. As the match wore on, Sutton ended up on the wrong end of a roquet that sent me off the course and across a service road.
This opening was all that Steak Boy needed. He moved into a commanding lead as Sutton and Carmony huddled to work on a plan. Carmony was still in the hunt but trailed Steak Boy by a number of wickets. Sutton, ever the team player, elected to Go Kamikaze and attempt to slow down Steak Boy’s progress. What the LCC didn’t count on was the SFECC sending their own Kamikaze competitor after Sutton.
Despite the dueling Kamikazes, Steak Boy managed to maintain his focus and ride his momentum through the final turns, winning the event and becoming the first non-LCC competitor to even win the Champions Cup.
OTHER NOTABLES
The most difficult obstacle on the Cup course turned out to be an 18″ hole left by the Dept of Public Works. No fewer than three comepetitors (Sutton, Blackrocket, and Diyatch Biyatch) ended up at the bottom of the hole during the course of play. All three escaped the pit with relatively little anguish.
2003 CHAMPIONS CUP COMPLETE RESULTS
QUALIFYING HEAT I
1 - Tom Carmony
2 - Chris the Hungarian
3 - Kevin Sutton
3 - Diyatch Biyatch
5 - Blackrocket
6 - Agent Orange
7 - Brian
8 - Hat Girl
9 - Lin Cherry
QUALIFYING HEAT II
Q Chinook
Q William
Q Winn (sp?)
Q Steak Boy
Q The Punisher
– The Mighty Punch
– Mr. Poison
– ???
– ???
CHAMPIONSHIP FINAL*
1 - Steak Boy
2 - Tom Carmony
3 - Diyatch Biyatch
4 - The Punisher
5 - William
6 - Chinook
7 - Chris the Hungarian
8 - Blackrocket
9 - Winn (sp?)
10 - Kevin Sutton
* The top five finishers in each qualifying heat competed in the final round.
