SEATTLE, WA – In an unexpected, shocking turn of events, LakewoodCroquet.com has obtained a copy of an email secretly sent by the Lakewood Croquet Club’s (LCC) resident curmudgeon Brian S. Johnston III to Ironman Croquet (IMC) head Brandon Lasher, offering to “be your goon” and “[knock] other competitor’s [sic] balls out of contention so that [...]
Saturday, August 5, 2006
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MERCER ISLAND, WA – The following is a statement released to the press earlier today from the office of Lakewood Croquet Club President Kevin Sutton: “It is with great sadness that I announce today the Lakewood Croquet Club is launching a full-scale investigation into allegations of treason, sedition and Cup fixing against former LCC president and [...]
Wednesday, August 2, 2006
SEATTLE, WA – Former Lakewood Croquet Club (LCC) President and Champions Cup IX winner Brian S. Johnston III took his frustrations over the scheduling of this year’s Cup public with a series of scathing MySpace comments and three melodramatic voicemails left for LCC rival “King of Qualifying” Tom Carmony. Johnston, along with all top LCC competitors, [...]
Monday, July 18, 2005
EVERETT, WA – Less than 24 hours before his defense of the Champions Cup, 2004 winner Brian “Gurgles” Johnston was struck with a suspicious case of food poisoning, courtesy of a questionable Indian buffet lunch July 15th. Johnston had dined at an all-you-can-eat lunch buffet in the culinary capital of the Northwest, Everett. Though initially [...]
Sunday, July 17, 2005
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SEATTLE, WA – The Lakewood Croquet Club celebrated the tenth edition of its Champions Cup, extreme croquet’s premiere annual event, with television cameras, challengers from the University of Washington’s Honors Croquet League (UWHCL), the much heralded returns of “Money” Mark Stibbe and Dr. Lily Van Patten (who together travelled more than 6,000 miles to take [...]
Thursday, July 14, 2005
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SEATTLE, WA – Less than 48 hours after his seemingly miraculous come-from-behind victory at Saturday’s Poison 2 event, Lakewood Croquet Club (LCC) legend “The Franchise” Jeff Gepner admitted to a variety of underhanded tactics in that win. In a series of emails exchanged with Brian S. Johnston III and LCC President Kevin Sutton, obtained by [...]
Tuesday, August 3, 2004
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SEATTLE, WA – After nearly six weeks of apparent self-imposed exile, former Lakewood Croquet Club President Brian S. Johnston III made his unofficial return during an impromptu press conference at LCC Headquarters in Seattle. Johnston refused to speak with reporters about his June 27th resignation from office, instead focusing on what he called his “next [...]
Monday, July 5, 2004
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SAN FRANCISCO – In what may prove to be the biggest shocker in an already tumultuous croquet season, Lakewood Croquet Club superstar “Queen of Croquet” Lin Cherry renounced her affiliation with the club and signed a long-term deal with the rival San Francisco Extreme Croquet Club (SFECC). It is believed that Cherry’s move is the [...]
Monday, July 9, 2001
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Lakewood, WA – Lakewood Croquet Club President Brian S. Johnston III, who was lambasted by critics for his recent attempts to downsize the organization’s membership, held a press conference today at LCC Headquarters to announce a “goodwill gesture” to make up for what he called “simply a misunderstanding.” “I’m here before you today to make amends,” [...]
Tuesday, June 19, 2001
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Since taking office in the spring of 1998, Lakewood Croquet Club President Brian S. Johnston III has proven to be the most controversial figurehead in the history of the sport. True be told, however, nothing he has done or said in the past three years may compare to what came spewing out of his mouth [...]
Saturday, August 5, 2006
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