Johnston and Sutton, who led for an early segment of the two-hour match, found themselves precariously close to defeat at the match’s end. They lost their lead at the mid-way turning stake, as the team of Kristina Johnston and “King of Qualifying” Tom Carmony leaped from third to first with a commanding run of shots, while BSJIII and Sutton found themselves entangled off the course, stuck in a concrete wall.

Carmony and Johnston continued their dominating play throughout the second half of the match, until they ran into difficulty staking out at the surprisingly difficult closing wickets. This allowed BSJIII and Fantastic the opportunity to close the gap, despite interference from Gepner and Farrell, who declared kamikaze late in the match. BSJIII and Fantastic even managed to fight back from a ricocheted shot that left them at the bottom of a hill, more than 100 feet from the closing wickets. Johnston managed to clear them from a shrub and Sutton nailed a stellar uphill shot to jettison them back into the thick of the race.

The action continued back and forth until Sutton made a tough-angle shot to clear the first of the final wickets, them rolled on to stake out and capture the victory.

“Despite what Kristina and Tom might tell you, this one was NEVER in doubt,” claimed Brian S. Johnston III at the post-match press conference. “As soon as Mr. Fantastic and I were drawn as partners in the pre-game draw, we were clearly the favorites. This was destiny, my friend, destiny.”

Johnston and Sutton’s victory also helped both edge out other potential competitors from a guaranteed spot in the finals of this year’s Champions Cup. The winner of each “major” (the Triple Steak Trifecta of Death, the Gary Coleman Memorial Team Challenge, the Independence Invitational and Poison) earns a guaranteed spot in the final round, as does the defending Cup winner. Sutton, the winner of last year’s Cup, is a lock for the finals, and Johnston already qualified by winning the Triple Steak two weeks ago.

“Brian would love for it to be just him and Kevin in the finals of the Champions Cup,” stated “The Franchise” Jeff Gepner. “One on one, his odds of winning the Cup would actually be greatly improved – probably, what? Ten percent now?”

View a slideshow of images from the 2008 Coleman Challenge on Flickr

Final 2008 Coleman Challenge Results

1. “Mr. Fantastic” Kevin Sutton and Brian S. Johnston III
2. Kristina Johnston and “King of Qualifying” Tom Carmony
3. Jenn Farrell and “The Franchise” Jeff Gepner

Lakewood Croquet Club (LCC) Director of Reminders and Phone Call Follow-Up Tom Carmony called Gepner for a status update, assuming he was having trouble finding the location, a park in which the LCC had never previously played.

Actually, Gepner had never left his house.

“I thought it was cancelled!”

Due to recent inclement weather in the Seattle area, the question of whether or not the 2008 Coleman Challenge might be rained out was up in the air until Saturday morning. At that time, based on the latest weather reports, LCC Officials emailed out a memo to competitors that the event was on as originally scheduled.

Gepner didn’t get the memo.

“It was ‘off’ unless it’s ‘on’, right?”

The Franchise’s confusion on the matter has led to the proposition of a second Gepmendment (Gepner-inspired amendment) to the Official LCC Rules:

Section 42, Paragraph 3: The Second Gepmendment
“It’s on, unless it’s off.”

Unless explicitly stated otherwise by Club Officials, any previously announced LCC event shall be assumed to be played as scheduled, on the date and time and at the location originally specified. In the event that date/time/location of an event is changed, or the event is cancelled, LCC Officials shall make reasonable efforts to notify competitors of said changes, including (but not limited to) by phone, email, the LCC website and Twitter.

Doubles partners for the 2008 Gary Coleman Memorial Team Challenge were selected randomly (via a ball draw), and the pairing of “King of Qualifying” Tom Carmony and Kristina Johnston had never teamed before. The tandem of Brian S. Johnston III and “Mr. Fantastic” Kevin Sutton were the clear favorites at the outset of the match, particularly as Tom and Kristina struggled early, falling to third and trailing for much of the first half of the match.

The tables turned, however at the turning stake, as both the teams of Johnston/Sutton and “The Franchise” Jeff Gepner and Jenn Farrell found themselves off the main field of play and struggling to hit the half-way stake. Carmony and Johnston used the opportunity to leapfrog both teams, taking a commanding lead that they held until the closing stake.

The closing stake, of course, is where things began to unravel.

“I think we underestimated the treachery of the course, the lay of the land, at the closing wickets,” said Carmony. “The final stake was positioned just a couple inches from a paved sidewalk, on a pretty steep slope. Plus there was a bit of a fast, compacted dirt channel running down the hill directly in front of the stake.”

“That stake turned out to be our undoing,” added Johnston.

The pair’s struggles opened the way for BSJIII and Fantastic to get back in contention and ultimately win the match. The loss was especially disappointing, as Kristina Johnston’s stellar play got her within a shot of her first event win. The victory would have been Carmony’s fourth Doubles Championship (though only one of those were actually won – three were awarded by then-President and former doubles partner Brian S. Johnston III).

The Gary Coleman Memorial Team Challenge was first held in 1998 and has been played annually to crown the LCC’s Doubles Champions. Three-time champs “Mr. Fantastic” Kevin Sutton and “The Franchise” Jeff Gepner are looking for a record fourth straight Coleman Challenge victory, after having taken the gold in the 2004, 2005 and 2006 editions of the championship.

The Coleman Challenge is set for a 3pm start-time this Saturday. It is an open event and any/all participants (both current LCC members and newcomers) are welcomed. Players are encouraged to bring a doubles partner, if possible, though competitors without a partner prior to the event will be matched up into teams on Saturday.

Luther Burbank Park is located just off I-90 on Mercer Island.

For those planning to attend Saturday’s event, please drop us a quick email at info@lakewoodcroquet.com to let us know you’re coming, so we can best accomodate the expected number of players.

Such spectulation is based on the elusive Triple Crown, victories in the Gary Coleman Memorial Team Challenge, the Champions Cup and the Pennsylvania Open. No competitor has ever achieved a “career” Triple Crown, let alone a sweep in a single season. Sutton is now in position to do so.

Rumblings about the Cup winner traveling to Pennsylvania for the Open began in May, as Sutton and “The Franchise” Jeff Gepner successfully defended their Lakewood Croquet Club (LCC) Doubles Championship at the 2005 Gary Coleman Memorial Team Challenge. Following the victory, Gepner himself declared before the assembled media that “If Kevin or I go on to win the Champions Cup, the winner has to go to Pennsylvania for the Open. It’s our duty to make history.”

Gepner, a three-time Cup winner and four-time Coleman Challenge winner, is the only other competitor in LCC history to have been in position to challenge for the Triple Crown. Gepner won the Coleman Challenge alongside partner “King of Qualifying” Tom Carmony in 2001, went on to win his third Cup two months later, but was unable to make the trip to Perkasie for the Open.

When questioned about any potential travel plans at the post-Cup press conference, Sutton was non-committal but left the door open for a possible run at the Triple Crown.

“At this point, I can’t commit to anything,” Mr. Fantastic told reporters. “But I definitely want to keep the door open for a possible run at the Triple Crown.”

“We’ll see what the future holds.”

Here’s a teaser excerpt:

Andy Cooper is having a rough match. First his yellow ball ricochets and pops high near his jaw. The Chehalis tool salesman jerks his head back, avoiding a nasty bruise. Not half an hour later, a finger-size chip flakes off his wooden mallet. “Every time a mallet breaks, an angel catches fire,” UW drama and literature student Michelle Burce jokes. “That’s the lore of the league.”

Click here to read the full Seattle P-I feature

Click here for complete results of the 2005 Gary Coleman Memorial Team Challenge

Click here for full results of the 2004 Gary Coleman Memorial Team Challenge

“Brian Johnston is driving this organization into the ground,” Gepner stated recently. “For three years he’s had the reigns of the LCC in his hands, and quite frankly, we’re lucky to even still have an organization at this point.”

“Johnston has used and abused his powers for the sole purpose of carrying out his own personal vendettas against other competitors, including myself,” he continued. “I mean, the guy’s made me out to be public enemy number one! And for what? For being a better player than he is? I can’t help the fact that I am the most genetically gifted player in the LCC and Johnston’s a no-talent stooge.”

President Johnston refused to comment when approached about Gepner’s allegations.

“I refuse to comment,” he said. “In fact, the only thing I have to say about ‘The Franchise’ is that he’s a big pussy. If he doesn’t like the way I’m running the show around here, that’s too bad. Let me start his own croquet club if he’s not satisfied with this one.”

“I’m not about to change the way this organization is run to suite one sniveling whiner like Jeff Gepner,” continued the President.

Johnston took office in April 1998, following the departure of the inaugural LCC President, El Presidente. Johnston was named to office by a vote of the LCC Board of Directors. No formal elections have ever been held for the presidency. Any such elections would have to receive the approval of the Board before they could go forward.

The Coleman Challenge, instituted in 1998, is held each spring to determine the LCC Doubles Champions. The inaugural edition featured the teams of Andy Cooper/Brian S. Johnston III and Jeff Gepner/Tom Carmony. The event ended in a 75-minute time-limit draw (with Gepner and Carmony one shot away from victory) due to the start of the final episode of Seinfeld. Two months later, President Johnston declared that there must be LCC Doubles Champions crowned and named himself and Tom Carmony as champions.

Last year’s Challenge featured ten competitors randomly assigned to five teams through a random draw conducted by President Johnston. Cooper rode the coattails of Emily Smith’s phenomenal performance to victory, and the pair have been the reigning champions since.

A field of three teams qualified for this year’s Challenge, including Brian S. Johnston III and Tom Carmony, Jeff Gepner and Andy Cooper, and Kevin Sutton and Mark Stibbe. Sutton appeared for the event without Stibbe, claiming that “Money Mark” would be unable to make the scheduled start time, and stated that instead he would play with himself as his own partner. Sutton then burst into an argument with himself, debating over which of his alter egos would serve as team captain. The other competitors watched in disbelief.

Unfortunately, the event could not be held due to inclement weather. Torrential rains washed out play, forcing LCC Officials to declare the event postponed, to be replayed at a later date. Competitors argued over other possible avenues to resolve the issue, including Gepner and Cooper offering to decide the championship over a game of Risk. After being soundly trounced in the boardgame, Sutton, Johnston, and Carmony quickly agreed that another resolution was necessary.

Since that time, participants have been unable to reschedule the contest. Earlier this week, President Johnston issued a statement saying that champions must be crowned. He cited a heretofore unknown club bylaw which states that in the event that a championship match or tournament cannot be completed as scheduled, participants have 30 days to agree upon and schedule a return contest; if the event cannot be rescheduled within the 30 days, then it shall be within the President’s rights as President to declare a winner of said event.

“Johnston is full of it,” cried Gepner after the President’s address. “He’s constantly making up these stupid, obscure rules to fit whatever agenda he has at the movement. There is no such bylaw, we don’t even have any real rules! President Johnston is merely trying to cover his ass for when he declares himself champion.”

“Once again, Jeff Gepner is showing himself to be the whiney little baby that he is,” replied an amused President Johnston. “He doesn’t have the melons to show up for a rematch, and so he’s creating a big stir and making me look like the bad guy. I’m not the bad guy! I’m only trying to do what’s best for this club.”