Over the previous two years, the IMC challenged the LCC at Champions Cup XI (2006) and Poison (IV). Last year’s Poison event actually featured the unlikely unification of LCC and IMC rivals in an effort to prevent a victory by a troupe of Canadian Interlopers from British Columbia. Their uneasy truce was short-lived however, as the LCC and IMC were once again squaring off at this year’s event.

“We battled, and it was our best showing yet,” said third-place finisher “King” Mike Cough. Each year, it’s been the LCC’s home course advantage though. I want to see them do the same on our courses, playing by our rules.”

“While good hosts, these LCC guys are clearly scared to come down to face us on our home turf,” reiterated IMC head Brandon Lasher at the post-match press conference. “We’re throwing down the gauntlet for 2009 – we’ll see if they step up to the challenge.”

There are rumblings that the LCC might be finally stepping up to that challenge (out of both competitive zeal and outright guilt). Rumors are swirling about a potential July 2009 showdown on either Seaside or Astoria, and IMC and LCC club officials are expected to begin negotiations in the coming months.

SEATTLE, WA – Mr. Brian S. Johnston III continued to build momentum heading into the 2008 season finale, Champions Cup XIII, notching his third win of the year at Poison V, Saturday, August 16th at Mount Baker Park in Seattle. The victory was not an easy one, as he had to battle his way past two members of the rival Ironman Croquet (IMC) organization, both of whom had already qualified as “poison”.

The heated Lakewood Croquet Club (LCC) vs IMC showdown proved to be the most competitive of the three annual matchups, as the final turns came down to the IMC’s Nathan “Super-Stitious” Cole and King Mike Cough going toe to toe with the LCC’s Johnston and “The Franchise” Jeff Gepner (all four competitors were “poison”). Gepner stacked the odds against Johnston, his club-mate and former longtime rival, by accidentally eliminating himself, striking a wicket on a long distance shot.

Gepner’s screw-up was the second self-elimination by an LCC competitor. “King of Qualifying” Tom Carmony, who finished the course first and qualified as the first “poison” player, accidentally cleared a wicket from a distance of 75 feet (after missing an IMC player’s ball) and struck the inside edge of that wicket to disqualify himself. He was the third elimination of the “poison” round.

The LCC hosts were outnumbered from the start, six to four, by the competitors from Oregon (one competitor from the University of Washington’s Honors Croquet League also took part), who made the trek up I-5 for the weekend. Johnston and Carmony jumped out to an early lead, with IMC’s Cole and Brandon Lasher in close pursuit. Carmony began to pull away, along with Gepner, who rebounded from a horrendous start to take a second-half lead.

Carmony was the first to stake out and reach Poison, with Gepner close behind. The two apparently reached an unofficial truce, however, as they clearly expressed no inclination to eliminate one another, instead focusing on targeting IMC competitors.

“I’m not going to say whether there was any agreement, so to speak,” said Gepner in a post-event interview with the press. “I will say, however, that we certainly had the best interests of the LCC in mind, and we wanted to make sure that the title stayed with the club, in the state of Washington.”

Carmony was less vague.

“Oh yeah, we had a pinky promise,” stated the King of Qualifying. “Jeff may not want to admit it, but it was his idea. I said, ‘do we REALLY need to hook pinkies to agree to this?’ but he insisted. It seemed a bit strange to me.”

Poison V marked the third consecutive year that the IMC made the trip north to challenge the LCC on their home turf. LCC officials have vowed to finally return the favor and are making tentative plans to journey to Oregon next season for a showdown on IMC turf.

“While good hosts, these LCC guys are clearly scared to come down to face us on our home turf,” reiterated IMC head Brandon Lasher at the post-match press conference. “We’re throwing down the gauntlet for 2009 – we’ll see if they step up to the challenge.”

Poison V Final Standings:

1. Mr. Brian S. Johnston III (LCC) *
2. Nathan “Super-Stitious” Cole (IMC) *
3. “King” Mike Cough (IMC) *
4. “The Franchise” Jeff Gepner (LCC) *
5. “King of Qualifying” Tom Carmony (LCC) *
6. Brandon “Croquet Cool” Lasher (IMC)
7. Cassee “Big Cheater” Hansen (IMC)
8. Timeri Hansen (IMC)
9. Ben “No Nickname” Lasher (IMC)
10. Nikki Gepner (LCC)
11. Ezra Bradford (UWHCL)

* = Players who completed the course and reached poison status.

View Photos from Poison V on Flickr »

Event Notes: Defending Poison Champion, “Mr. Fantastic” Kevin Sutton, was unable to defend his title at this year’s event due to a family commitment. He made a brief pre-match appearance to drop off the championship belt and vowed to be in top form for the final match of the season, Champions Cup XIII in September. LCC regulars Dianne Learned, Kristina Johnston and Jenn Sutton were also unable to make the event, due to other commitments. All are expected to be on hand for next month’s Cup.

Poison V will also feature the return of Oregon’s Ironman Croquet group, who will once again make the trek north on I-5 in a valiant, albeit doomed, attempt to wrest one of the LCC’s championships away from them. The IMC took part in last year’s Poison IV, but came up short as “Mr. Fantastic” Kevin Sutton took the victory in a marathon match-up.

Poison is an open event, meaning all competitors (even newcomers) are invited. If you’d like to take part, simply RSVP via email to lakewoodcroquet@yahoo.com or simply show up on Saturday.

EVENT DETAILS

Event Name: Poison V
Location: Mount Baker Park, 2521 Lake Park Dr. South, Seattle, WA
Start Time: 1pm  

Poison rules croquet differs from a more “traditional” extreme croquet match (if there can be such a thing as “traditional extreme”) in that plays continues after a player strikes the end stake, which uses signals the conclusion of the contest. Under poison rules, that player then becomes “poison”, and can/must strike other players with his ball. Once another player is struck by a “poison ball”, (s)he is eliminated from the match. Multiple players can become “poison” by completing the course and “staking out” and the last player standing is declared the winner.

Last year’s Poison match-up proved to be a roller coaster affair, lasting well into the evening (to the point that players were employing mountaineering head lamps in order to find their way around the course). “King of Qualifying” Tom Carmony looked to have the win wrapped up, before a late showdown with “The Franchise” Jeff Gepner in a koi pond left him with a second place finish (both players’ balls ended up floating in the pond as they attempted to strike one another).

It was revealed days after the event, via a series of emails obtained by LakewoodCroquet.com, that Gepner had indeed failed to clear a wicket and should never have been in contention at the end of the match. Carmony was left fuming and vowed revenge at this year’s event.

Click here to see photos of last year’s Poison 2 »

From: Brian Johnston
Sent: Monday, July 11, 2005 12:07 PM
To: Jeff Gepner, Kevin Sutton

Jeff – I know you didn’t make it through the clematis wicket…

From: Jeff Gepner
Sent: Monday, July 11, 2005 12:54 PM
To: Brian Johnston, Kevin Sutton

I’m also pretty sure that Tom hit my ball in the water. I hit the bottom of my ball. It was a tough call though. My dirty little secret.

MuhAAAHAHAHAHA…MuhAAAHAHAHAHA….MuhAAAHAHAHAHA

Mere moments after the emails were leaked to the media, “King of Qualifying” Tom Carmony, who apparently should have been declared the victor at Poison 2, shot back with a response of his own, calling on the LCC Board of Directors to overturn the decision.

“Son of a…. I demand that I be declared the victor!” cried Carmony.

“Mr. President, based on the clear admonition of tomfoolery (literally, fooling Tom), I think it’s only fair that I be declared the rightful winner of Poison 2. It’s one thing to cheat and not be caught, but to clearly flaunt it in the face of LCC authority is uncalled for.”

He continued, “Plus, Mr. Johnston clearly states in his email that he knowingly witnessed Jeff’s cheating and didn’t call him on it. They’re both dirtbags.”

As has been par for the course during his Presidency, LCC head Kevin Sutton was relatively mum on the exchange, offering no firm decision or declaration either way.

Later in the week, Carmony was still stewing.

“I know in my heart that I won Poison 2, and everyone knows that I outplayed the entire field,” Carmony told the assembled media following a pre-Champions Cup workout yesterday.

“I staked out first, I eliminated five of the six other competitors, and I apparently eliminated The Franchise during our final battle in the Koi Pond, by his own admonition. Obviously, a win like that is nice to have on my resume, but the most important thing is that, just days from the Champions Cup, I’m clearly playing my best croquet in years and outplaying all of the other top LCC competitors.”

“Jeff, just remember one thing, my friend. Karma. What goes around comes around!”

Click Here for Complete Poison 2 Results