Poison V will also feature the return of Oregon’s Ironman Croquet group, who will once again make the trek north on I-5 in a valiant, albeit doomed, attempt to wrest one of the LCC’s championships away from them. The IMC took part in last year’s Poison IV, but came up short as “Mr. Fantastic” Kevin Sutton took the victory in a marathon match-up.

Poison is an open event, meaning all competitors (even newcomers) are invited. If you’d like to take part, simply RSVP via email to lakewoodcroquet@yahoo.com or simply show up on Saturday.

EVENT DETAILS

Event Name: Poison V
Location: Mount Baker Park, 2521 Lake Park Dr. South, Seattle, WA
Start Time: 1pm  

Johnston and Sutton, who led for an early segment of the two-hour match, found themselves precariously close to defeat at the match’s end. They lost their lead at the mid-way turning stake, as the team of Kristina Johnston and “King of Qualifying” Tom Carmony leaped from third to first with a commanding run of shots, while BSJIII and Sutton found themselves entangled off the course, stuck in a concrete wall.

Carmony and Johnston continued their dominating play throughout the second half of the match, until they ran into difficulty staking out at the surprisingly difficult closing wickets. This allowed BSJIII and Fantastic the opportunity to close the gap, despite interference from Gepner and Farrell, who declared kamikaze late in the match. BSJIII and Fantastic even managed to fight back from a ricocheted shot that left them at the bottom of a hill, more than 100 feet from the closing wickets. Johnston managed to clear them from a shrub and Sutton nailed a stellar uphill shot to jettison them back into the thick of the race.

The action continued back and forth until Sutton made a tough-angle shot to clear the first of the final wickets, them rolled on to stake out and capture the victory.

“Despite what Kristina and Tom might tell you, this one was NEVER in doubt,” claimed Brian S. Johnston III at the post-match press conference. “As soon as Mr. Fantastic and I were drawn as partners in the pre-game draw, we were clearly the favorites. This was destiny, my friend, destiny.”

Johnston and Sutton’s victory also helped both edge out other potential competitors from a guaranteed spot in the finals of this year’s Champions Cup. The winner of each “major” (the Triple Steak Trifecta of Death, the Gary Coleman Memorial Team Challenge, the Independence Invitational and Poison) earns a guaranteed spot in the final round, as does the defending Cup winner. Sutton, the winner of last year’s Cup, is a lock for the finals, and Johnston already qualified by winning the Triple Steak two weeks ago.

“Brian would love for it to be just him and Kevin in the finals of the Champions Cup,” stated “The Franchise” Jeff Gepner. “One on one, his odds of winning the Cup would actually be greatly improved – probably, what? Ten percent now?”

View a slideshow of images from the 2008 Coleman Challenge on Flickr

Final 2008 Coleman Challenge Results

1. “Mr. Fantastic” Kevin Sutton and Brian S. Johnston III
2. Kristina Johnston and “King of Qualifying” Tom Carmony
3. Jenn Farrell and “The Franchise” Jeff Gepner

Lakewood Croquet Club (LCC) Director of Reminders and Phone Call Follow-Up Tom Carmony called Gepner for a status update, assuming he was having trouble finding the location, a park in which the LCC had never previously played.

Actually, Gepner had never left his house.

“I thought it was cancelled!”

Due to recent inclement weather in the Seattle area, the question of whether or not the 2008 Coleman Challenge might be rained out was up in the air until Saturday morning. At that time, based on the latest weather reports, LCC Officials emailed out a memo to competitors that the event was on as originally scheduled.

Gepner didn’t get the memo.

“It was ‘off’ unless it’s ‘on’, right?”

The Franchise’s confusion on the matter has led to the proposition of a second Gepmendment (Gepner-inspired amendment) to the Official LCC Rules:

Section 42, Paragraph 3: The Second Gepmendment
“It’s on, unless it’s off.”

Unless explicitly stated otherwise by Club Officials, any previously announced LCC event shall be assumed to be played as scheduled, on the date and time and at the location originally specified. In the event that date/time/location of an event is changed, or the event is cancelled, LCC Officials shall make reasonable efforts to notify competitors of said changes, including (but not limited to) by phone, email, the LCC website and Twitter.

Doubles partners for the 2008 Gary Coleman Memorial Team Challenge were selected randomly (via a ball draw), and the pairing of “King of Qualifying” Tom Carmony and Kristina Johnston had never teamed before. The tandem of Brian S. Johnston III and “Mr. Fantastic” Kevin Sutton were the clear favorites at the outset of the match, particularly as Tom and Kristina struggled early, falling to third and trailing for much of the first half of the match.

The tables turned, however at the turning stake, as both the teams of Johnston/Sutton and “The Franchise” Jeff Gepner and Jenn Farrell found themselves off the main field of play and struggling to hit the half-way stake. Carmony and Johnston used the opportunity to leapfrog both teams, taking a commanding lead that they held until the closing stake.

The closing stake, of course, is where things began to unravel.

“I think we underestimated the treachery of the course, the lay of the land, at the closing wickets,” said Carmony. “The final stake was positioned just a couple inches from a paved sidewalk, on a pretty steep slope. Plus there was a bit of a fast, compacted dirt channel running down the hill directly in front of the stake.”

“That stake turned out to be our undoing,” added Johnston.

The pair’s struggles opened the way for BSJIII and Fantastic to get back in contention and ultimately win the match. The loss was especially disappointing, as Kristina Johnston’s stellar play got her within a shot of her first event win. The victory would have been Carmony’s fourth Doubles Championship (though only one of those were actually won – three were awarded by then-President and former doubles partner Brian S. Johnston III).